{"id":327,"date":"2022-10-14T19:41:46","date_gmt":"2022-10-14T16:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/?p=327"},"modified":"2023-02-24T03:12:02","modified_gmt":"2023-02-24T00:12:02","slug":"derin-bir-yaraniz-mi-var","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/2022\/10\/14\/derin-bir-yaraniz-mi-var\/","title":{"rendered":"Derin Bir Yaran\u0131z m\u0131 var"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“DER\u0130N B\u0130R YARANIZ MI VAR, O B\u0130R KAPIDIR” <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kevser S\u00e2ba ALKAYA<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clarissa Pinkola Estes’in: ”\u00c7ok derin bir yaran\u0131z m\u0131 var, o bir kap\u0131d\u0131r.” s\u00f6z\u00fcne tak\u0131ld\u0131 kalbim. Bir yara nas\u0131l kap\u0131 olabilir insana, o kap\u0131dan neyi g\u00f6rebilir insan? Kap\u0131 hayli derin bir metafor; hem a\u00e7\u0131lmay\u0131 hem kapanmay\u0131 if\u00e2de eder; hem i\u00e7eriyi hem d\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131. Kap\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131r, kap\u0131 a\u00e7makt\u0131r ya da kapamak, kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmakt\u0131r, girmek ya da d\u0131\u015farda kalmak, kap\u0131 g\u00fcvendir, kap\u0131 limand\u0131r, kap\u0131 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nman\u0131n girizg\u00e2h\u0131d\u0131r; bazen de d\u0131\u015farda b\u0131rak\u0131lman\u0131n \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131. Kap\u0131lar ya a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcze ya kapan\u0131r. Kap\u0131 bazen d\u0131\u015f g\u00fc\u00e7 taraf\u0131ndan a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapansa da \u00e7o\u011fu kez kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p kapatan\u0131n biz oldu\u011funu bilemeyiz; iyi ama nas\u0131l? S\u00f6zlerimiz, niyetlerimiz, zihnimiz, bilin\u00e7alt\u0131m\u0131z davetiyedir hayat yolunda kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kan kap\u0131lara. ”Anahtar da benim, kilit de benim.” diye okumu\u015ftum bir yerlerde; bundan m\u00fclhem a\u00e7an da benim a\u00e7\u0131lan da; t\u0131pk\u0131 Simurg hikayesinde Z\u00fcmr\u00fcd-\u00fc Anka ku\u015funu aramaya \u00e7\u0131kanlar\u0131n yolun sonunda kendileri ile kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmalar\u0131 gibi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gelelim Estes’in kalbime de\u011fen bu s\u00f6z\u00fcne. ”Derin bir yaran\u0131z m\u0131 var o bir kap\u0131d\u0131r.” Yara nas\u0131l kap\u0131 olur insana? Y\u0131llar \u00f6nce medrese tahsili al\u0131rken \u0130mam-\u0131 Rabban\u00ee Hazretlerinin Mekt\u00fbbat adl\u0131 eserinde \u015f\u00f6yle bir s\u00f6z okumu\u015ftum: ”Tat ac\u0131da, huzur huzursuzlukta, merhem yarada:” Okur okumaz kalbimi titretti, sarst\u0131, sendeletti; hen\u00fcz 17-18 ya\u015flar\u0131nday\u0131m; bunu dil ile ifade edecek bir tecr\u00fcbe ve olgunlukta de\u011filim, ak\u0131l ile izah\u0131n\u0131 tam yapamasam da kalbim s\u00f6z\u00fc anlad\u0131. \u015eerhini bana hayat\u0131n yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 nereden bilecektim? Zahiri olarak, tat ac\u0131da i\u015fte can\u0131m, yeme\u011fe bile ac\u0131 yak\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, her \u015fey z\u0131dd\u0131yla k\u00e2im gibi s\u00f6zlerle a\u00e7\u0131klayabiliriz; nitekim do\u011frudur da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130yi ama ”tat ac\u0131da, merhem yarada.” ne demek? Psikolojiye ilgi duyan biri olarak okudu\u011fum psikoloji kitaplar\u0131nda da benzer s\u00f6zlerin oldu\u011funu farkettim. S\u00fbfilerin s\u00f6zlerine benzer tespitleri olan psikanalist Jung: ”Bilin\u00e7, ac\u0131 olmadan do\u011fmaz.” diyor ve \u015f\u00f6yle devam ediyor: ”Yaras\u0131 olmayan \u015fifac\u0131 iyile\u015ftirici olamaz; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ek iyile\u015ftirici g\u00fc\u00e7, yaran\u0131n kendisinden gelir.” \u0130mam-\u0131 Rabban\u00ee Hz’lerinin: ”Tat ac\u0131da, merhem yarada, huzur huzursuzlukta.” s\u00f6z\u00fcne ne kadar yak\u0131n de\u011fil mi? \u015e\u00fcphesiz, edebiyat, psikoloji, tasavvuf alanlar\u0131nda bu minvalde s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f \u00e7ok daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn; lakin ben bu yaz\u0131mda Estes ile a\u00e7\u0131lan ‘kap\u0131’n\u0131n mahzenine inmek istiyorum. \u015eif\u00e2, merhem, kap\u0131 yarada ise ac\u0131ya, yaraya, \u0131zd\u0131raba yeni bir g\u00f6zle bakman\u0131n zaman\u0131 gelmi\u015f demektir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Estes’in, Jung’un, \u0130mam-\u0131 Rabban\u00ee Hz’lerinin s\u00f6zlerinden umut rayihas\u0131 \u00e7arpt\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcme. \u0130nsan\u0131 hafifleten, insana g\u00fc\u00e7 veren, daha ileriye ta\u015f\u0131yan bir umut. Yarana bak\u0131p durma, yarana tak\u0131lma; yaran\u0131 farket, sana vermek istedi\u011fi mesaj\u0131 al ve yola revan ol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bedenimizdeki ac\u0131lar nas\u0131l ki yolunda gitmeyen bir \u015feyin sinyali ise kalbimizdeki ac\u0131lar da keza yolunda gitmeyen \u015feylerin sinyalleri; nitekim beden ve ruh bir b\u00fct\u00fcn, i\u00e7 i\u00e7e girmi\u015f ve birbiriyle irtibatl\u0131 haldeler. Son y\u0131llarda s\u0131k s\u0131k bel problemleri ya\u015fad\u0131m. Belimde i\u015flerin yolunda gitmedi\u011finin mesaj\u0131n\u0131 bana belime giren a\u011fr\u0131 ve ac\u0131lar verdi. Belime giren ac\u0131y\u0131 hissetmeseydim, belimdeki problemi farkedemeyecek belki de sorun \u00e7ok daha ileriye gidececekti; ama orada o ac\u0131 bana bir \u015fey anlatmak istiyordu. ”Bana kulak ver, beni dinle, sana bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemek istiyorum.” diyordu. Bedenimdeki o ac\u0131 bana \u015fifalanmam i\u00e7in bir kap\u0131 oldu; asl\u0131nda bedenimiz her zerresinde hayat bulunan, her bir h\u00fccrenin birbiriyle irtibatl\u0131 oldu\u011fu ihti\u015faml\u0131, mucizevi bir yap\u0131 ve bizimle s\u00fcrekli konu\u015fuyor. Kendimize yabanc\u0131la\u015ft\u0131r\u0131larak ”e\u011fitildi\u011fimiz” i\u00e7in en \u00e7ok kendimize sa\u011f\u0131r, en \u00e7ok kendimize k\u00f6r\u00fcz. Bedenin bu gizemli dilini Alice Miller, Hayat Yollar\u0131 kitab\u0131nda \u015f\u00f6yle anlat\u0131yor: ”Bedenimin, ben duygular\u0131m\u0131n fark\u0131na hen\u00fcz varamam\u0131\u015fken, kendini duyurmas\u0131 beni hep \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131yor. \u00e7ocukken s\u0131k s\u0131k hasta olurdum. Bu \u00e7aresizli\u011fimi ifade etmenin bir yoluydu.” Yani aktar\u0131lamayan duygular, sevdiklerimizle kuramad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z sahih ili\u015fkiler sadece kalpte de\u011fil bedende de kal\u0131c\u0131 izler b\u0131rak\u0131yor. Y\u0131llarca ula\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131p da bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ”sevdiklerimin\/yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131n” bende b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hat\u0131ra da titreme, anksiyete ve depresyon. Yine Alice Miller’in dedi\u011fi gibi beden asla yalan s\u00f6ylemiyor. ”Beden ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u015feyin hat\u0131ras\u0131n\u0131 tamam\u0131yla b\u00fcnyesinde saklayan bir organizmad\u0131r.” diye ilave ediyor Miller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Son y\u0131llarda Psikosomatik alan\u0131nda yap\u0131lan ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar da beden ve ruh aras\u0131ndaki ba\u011flant\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7ok daha detayl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde ele al\u0131yor. Eski Yunanca’da ‘ruh’ anlam\u0131na gelen ”psyche” ile beden anlam\u0131na gelen ”soma” kelimelerinden olu\u015fan Psikosomatik, psikolojik k\u00f6kenli fiziksel hastal\u0131klar i\u00e7in kullan\u0131lan bir adland\u0131rma. Farkl\u0131 ekollerde ‘psi\u015fe’ i\u00e7in; zihin, bilin\u00e7alt\u0131, bilin\u00e7d\u0131\u015f\u0131, ruh gibi farkl\u0131 tan\u0131mlar yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. S\u00fbfiler, r\u00fbhun hasta olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, hasta olan\u0131n nefis oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylerler; nitekim Psikolojinin Arap\u00e7a kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ”ilm\u00fc’n nefs’ yani nefis ilmi. ‘nefs, nefes,n\u00fcfus’ kelimelerinin de ayn\u0131 k\u00f6kten ‘nfs’ geldi\u011fini g\u00f6z\u00f6n\u00fcnde bulundurursak bu kelimenin hayli derin anlamlar\u0131 h\u00e2iz oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rebiliriz; tabii \u015fimdilik bu deryaya girmeyece\u011fim, in\u015fallah bir sonraki yaz\u0131m\u0131zda bu deryan\u0131n gizlerine seyahat edece\u011fiz. \u015eimdiden dal\u0131\u015f te\u00e7hizatlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 haz\u0131rlay\u0131n derim. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015eimdi kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerden devam edelim. S\u00fbfiler, as\u0131l vatan\u0131ndan gurbete d\u00fc\u015fen, beden zindan\u0131na -ge\u00e7ici de olsa- hapsedilen r\u00fbhun bu d\u00fcnyada \u0131zd\u0131rap \u00e7ekece\u011fini s\u00f6ylerler; yani ac\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6keni ontolojik. Bu ac\u0131n\u0131n rayihas\u0131n\u0131 edebiyat\u0131m\u0131zda da s\u0131kl\u0131kla g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz. Necip F\u00e2z\u0131l bir\u00e7ok \u015fiirinde buna i\u015faret eder. H\u00e2lim \u015fiirinde: ”Bilmem hangi \u00e2lemden bu topra\u011fa d\u00fc\u015feli, yataklara serildim cam k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6\u015feli.” derken insan\u0131n \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcnden kopu\u015f, ana kayna\u011fa hasret oldu\u011funu terenn\u00fcm eder. yine Kam\u0131\u015f \u015fiirinde: ”Ben gurbet r\u00fczgar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcfledi\u011fi kam\u0131\u015f\u0131m, bir su ba\u015f\u0131nda yapayaln\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015f\u0131m.”diyerek ayn\u0131 ontolojik \u0131zd\u0131raba i\u015faret eder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayn\u0131 his Mehmet \u00c2kif’in pek bilinmeyen Gece \u015fiirinde de vard\u0131r. \u00c2kif;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Nas\u0131l dursun benim b\u00ee\u00e7are g\u00f6lgem senden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00fcne\u015flerden de\u011fil Y\u00e2 Rabb, senin sinenden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.” iniltisiyle insan\u0131n ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6kenine iner. \u00c2kif’in bu dizelerinde kayna\u011f\u0131ndan uzakla\u015fan suyun, co\u015fkuyla aka aka kayna\u011f\u0131na ula\u015fma a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 hissediyoruz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mevl\u00e2n\u00e2 Hz’lerinin Mesnevisinin ilk beytinin de bunu anlatmas\u0131 hayli manidar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Bi\u015fnev in ney \u00e7\u00fcn hik\u00e2yet m\u00eek\u00fbned,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ez c\u00fcdayiha \u015fik\u00e2yet m\u00eek\u00fbned.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Dinle, bu ney neler hik\u00e2yet eder, ayr\u0131l\u0131klardan nas\u0131l \u015fik\u00e2yet eder.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Kez, neyistan t\u00e2 mer\u00e2 b\u00fcbr\u00eedeend,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ez, nefirem merd \u00fc zen n\u00e2lideend”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Beni kam\u0131\u015fl\u0131ktan kestiklerinden beri feryad\u0131mdan<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Erkek kad\u0131n m\u00fcteessir olmakta ve inlemektedir.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mevl\u00e2n\u00e2 Hz’lerinin Mesnevisine ‘dinle’ diye ba\u015flamas\u0131 bana \u00e7ok \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131 gelir; bir\u00e7ok anlam\u0131 olmakla beraber ‘kendini dinle, i\u00e7ini dinle; o \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131 sende duyacaks\u0131n diyor sanki. Ney sesinin bu kadar yan\u0131k olmas\u0131n\u0131n sebebi as\u0131l vatan\u0131ndan gurbete d\u00fc\u015fmesinden. T\u0131pk\u0131 Necip F\u00e2z\u0131l’\u0131n: ”Bilmem hangi \u00e2lemden bu topra\u011fa d\u00fc\u015feli dedi\u011fi gibi; ya da \u00c2kif’in: ”G\u00fcne\u015flerden de\u011fil senin sinenden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.” dedi\u011fi gibi. S\u00fbfiler bu yaran\u0131n\/ac\u0131n\u0131n\/\u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n ontolojik oldu\u011funu ve yaran\u0131n vuslatla kapanaca\u011f\u0131na i\u015f\u00e2ret eder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edebiyat eserlerine bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda ise farkl\u0131 ac\u0131lardan ne\u015fet ediyor gibi g\u00f6z\u00fckse de -en derinde- bu ac\u0131dan gelen \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n kokusunu hissedebilirsiniz; fakat burada psikolojinin; \u00f6zellikle psikanalistlerin insan\u0131n yaras\u0131n\u0131n onun i\u00e7in bir yol i\u015fareti oldu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc de yads\u0131m\u0131yorum; \u00f6zellikle kendimi Jung ek\u00f6l\u00fcne yak\u0131n g\u00f6ren biri olarak Jung’un: ”Ger\u00e7ek iyile\u015ftirici g\u00fc\u00e7 yaran\u0131n kendisinden gelir.” s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u015fifland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 bir etkisi oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Niy\u00e2z\u00ee M\u0131sr\u00ee’nin: ”Derman arard\u0131m derdime derdim bana dermanm\u0131\u015f.” s\u00f6z\u00fcndeki irf\u00e2n ile Jung’un s\u00f6z\u00fc hakikat yolunda bir yerlerde kesi\u015fiyor; yaln\u0131z psikoloji, bu ac\u0131y\u0131 d\u00fcnyev\u00ee nedenlerle s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 tutarken tasavvuf bizi nam\u00fctenahi bir yolculu\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor. Hakikat seyyahlar\u0131 ile s\u00f6z\u00fcm kime de\u011ferse bu seyahata kelimelerin r\u00fbhuna edeple dokunarak devam edece\u011fiz. S\/\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn de\u011fdi\u011fi herkese selamlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“DER\u0130N B\u0130R YARANIZ MI VAR, O B\u0130R KAPIDIR” Kevser S\u00e2ba ALKAYA Clarissa Pinkola Estes’in: ”\u00c7ok derin bir yaran\u0131z m\u0131 var, o bir kap\u0131d\u0131r.” s\u00f6z\u00fcne tak\u0131ld\u0131 kalbim. Bir yara nas\u0131l kap\u0131 olabilir insana, o kap\u0131dan neyi g\u00f6rebilir insan? Kap\u0131 hayli derin bir metafor; hem a\u00e7\u0131lmay\u0131 hem kapanmay\u0131 if\u00e2de eder; hem i\u00e7eriyi hem d\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131. Kap\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131r, kap\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145,125,149],"tags":[178,174],"class_list":["post-327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dusunce","category-ekim22","category-kevsersabaalkaya","tag-dusunce","tag-ekim2022","category-145","category-125","category-149","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-media-9325891-1665682663375-scaled.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=327"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":373,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions\/373"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}