{"id":17366,"date":"2026-07-09T18:57:54","date_gmt":"2026-07-09T15:57:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/?p=17366"},"modified":"2026-07-09T18:57:54","modified_gmt":"2026-07-09T15:57:54","slug":"yuregimin-ask-mabedi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/2026\/07\/09\/yuregimin-ask-mabedi\/","title":{"rendered":"Y\u00fcre\u011fimin A\u015fk Mabedi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Y\u00fcre\u011fimin A\u015fk Mabedi<\/strong><\/p>\n

Zeynep Yal\u00e7\u0131n<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kays gibi dillere d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp Mecnun\u2019a \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ad\u0131m hen\u00fcz\u2026 Ger\u00e7i dillere d\u00fc\u015fersem e\u011fer O\u2019nu i\u00e7imde ya\u015famama izin vermezlerdi bir ba\u015f\u0131ma, belki de bundan korkuyordum\u2026 Ger\u00e7i Mecnun\u2019dan farks\u0131z \u015fiirler yaz\u0131yordum y\u00e2rime; Leyla gibi duyamasa da yazmak haz veriyordu ruhuma. E\u011fer bir erkek olsayd\u0131m ya Kays gibi \u00e7\u00f6llerde ya\u015far ya da \u015eems gibi bir dervi\u015f olur, O\u2019nu aramaya \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m diyar diyar\u2026 Ne yaz\u0131k ki ben ne Kays ne de \u015eems gibi \u015fansl\u0131yd\u0131m. Olsun; ben i\u00e7imde Mecnununkinden b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7\u00f6llere, \u015eems\u2019inse geze geze bitiremeyece\u011fi diyarlara sahiptim\u2026 O y\u00fczden kendimi ne f\u0131rt\u0131nas\u0131 dinmeyen bir \u00e7\u00f6le, ne de ad\u0131 bilinmeyen bir diyara de\u011fil; g\u00f6z a\u00e7\u0131p kapayacak kadar yak\u0131nda olup ama d\u00fcnya g\u00f6z\u00fcyle herkesin g\u00f6remedi\u011fi Sema hastanesine atabildim.<\/p>\n

Ne ki A\u015fk?<\/p>\n

Ruhum diyordu Kays Leyla\u2019ya\u2026 Ve ruhum diyordu Leyla, kendisi u\u011fruna ad\u0131 Mecnun\u2019a \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f a\u015fk\u0131na\u2026 Ruhum diyordu \u015eems Rumi\u2019ye\u2026 Ve ruhum diyordu Rumi, y\u0131llar boyu arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ruhda\u015f\u0131 biricik \u015eems\u2019ine\u2026 Kays ve Leyla be\u015feri a\u015fk\u0131 tatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ilk\u2026 \u015eems ve Rumi ise ilahi a\u015fka g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek vesile aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ilk\u2026 A\u015fk aram\u0131\u015flard\u0131; boyutu farkl\u0131 olsa da ad\u0131 san\u0131 a\u015fk\u2019t\u0131 apa\u00e7\u0131k. Kimi g\u00f6rsem ya bir f\u00e2niye yanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ya da baki a\u015fka\u2026 Ama her kim olursa olsun “Ruhum” diyordu yand\u0131\u011f\u0131na.<\/p>\n

Ya benim ruhum? Yok muydu benim ruhum? Kukla olan bedenime can veren g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen hayalet miydi yaln\u0131zca, bana ait olan ruh? Ya da bana ait miydi bu hayalet? Oysa ben Yaradan\u2019\u0131n de\u011fil miydim? O\u2019nun olan bir \u015feyi, ha\u015fa, nas\u0131l sahiplenebilirdim? Sahiplenmedim\u2026 Nitekim ben asla “ben” olmak istemedim\u2026 H\u00e2l\u00e2 “ben” dedi\u011fime g\u00f6re bu yokluk h\u0131rkas\u0131n\u0131 bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u0131rt\u0131ma giyemedim ne yaz\u0131k ki\u2026 O halde giymeliydim\u2026 Yok olmal\u0131yd\u0131m; yok\u2026<\/p>\n

Ama nerede, nas\u0131l, ne \u015fekilde? Bu zahir\u00ee d\u00fcnyada, kalabal\u0131klar i\u00e7erisinde bunald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, bir kar\u0131nca yuvas\u0131na dahi saklansan bulup \u00e7\u0131karmazlar m\u0131? Asla izin vermez d\u00fcnya, ilahi yolunda Hakk\u2019a s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmaya; elinden tutacak biri laz\u0131m mutlaka\u2026 Haydi o sa\u011flam eli bulduk; ya i\u00e7imizdeki el? \u0130\u00e7inden nefsinin s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 tuttu\u011fu eli, bir daha hi\u00e7 tutmamacas\u0131na b\u0131rakmak laz\u0131m. Ah bir b\u0131rakabilseydim! Ah O\u2019ndan bir kopsayd\u0131m\u2026 \u0130stek, gayret, sab\u0131r, zikir, dua vs\u2026 Ama diyorlard\u0131 en \u00f6nemlisi a\u015fk\u2026 A\u015fk diyordum hep; Allah\u2019\u0131n beni yoktan var etmesi ise, ben de bu varl\u0131k d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda O\u2019nun i\u00e7in yok olmal\u0131y\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n

Yok olmak istedim; Kays gibi \u00e7\u00f6llere ka\u00e7\u0131p ya\u015fayanlardan uzak olmak istedim. Ama insanlardan ka\u00e7san da kendinden ka\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131yor ne yaz\u0131k ki\u2026 A\u015fk diyorlar, a\u015fk\u2026 Seversen e\u011fer, sevdi\u011fin i\u00e7in O\u2019ndan gayri kendi istedi\u011fin her \u015feyden vazge\u00e7ersin.. Sarho\u015f olursun a\u015fk\u0131n \u015farab\u0131yla, kendinden ge\u00e7ersin.. ve kendinden ger\u00e7ekten ge\u00e7ersin\u2026 A\u015f\u0131k olmal\u0131 dedim o halde! Ama her yerde kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu bu s\u00f6z: \u2018\u2019A\u015fk aranmaz ama a\u015fk\u0131 bulanlar arayanlard\u0131r.\u2019\u2019 Nas\u0131l i\u015f, anlayamad\u0131m; hayat\u0131m\u0131n her an\u0131 m\u00fcthi\u015f karma\u015f\u0131k \u00e7eli\u015fkilerle dolu zaten\u2026 Bir zaman bu s\u00f6z \u00fczerinde tefekk\u00fcre dald\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Acizim Allah\u2019\u0131m! Ben yolu nas\u0131l bulay\u0131m? A\u015fk\u0131 okumal\u0131 dedim; birka\u00e7 a\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131, feryatlar\u0131n\u0131, naz, sitem, serzeni\u015flerini, azap i\u00e7indeki haz sarho\u015fluklar\u0131n\u0131\u2026 M\u00fccadelelerini; kime, kimin i\u00e7in, ne yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131\u2026 Gel zaman git zaman anlad\u0131m ki; a\u015fk aranmaz derken, zahirde aranmaz, g\u00f6n\u00fclden dilersin, duan bat\u0131na y\u00fckselir, kabul buyurursa Mevla\u2019m sana Leyla misali ahu g\u00f6zl\u00fc birini g\u00f6nderir. Ho\u015f; ne Kays Leyla\u2019y\u0131 arad\u0131 buldu, ne de Leyla Kays\u2019\u0131\u2026 Onlar do\u011fu\u015ftan y\u00fcreklerinde a\u015fk doluydu. Kays, senelerce \u00f6zlemle beklenen, a\u015fkla yalvar\u0131larak istenilen bir o\u011fuldu\u2026 Hamurunda a\u015fk var daha do\u011fmadan ve y\u00fcre\u011findeki uluhiyet daha \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken O\u2019na Leyla\u2019y\u0131 buldurdu.<\/p>\n

Bir da\u011f ba\u015f\u0131nda tefekk\u00fcrde iken, g\u00f6l kenar\u0131ndaki Leyla\u2019y\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u2026 Leyla su ile oynarken, elleriyle “Kays” yaz\u0131yordu belki de\u2026 Kays kimsenin okuyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 okudu belki de suya \u00f6ylece bakarken\u2026 Asl\u0131nda \u00f6ylesine bakm\u0131yordu; nereye nas\u0131l bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bizlere muamma\u2026 Ve o anda kimseye bu kadar yak\u0131\u015fmayan bir “ben”e vuruldu\u2026 Leyla\u2019n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne Allah taraf\u0131ndan \u00f6zenle yerle\u015ftirilen ben, Mecnun\u2019un ba\u015f\u0131na yaslanan, yasland\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde bir \u00f6m\u00fcr k\u00fcflenmeye mahk\u00fbm olan tek kur\u015funlu bir silah oldu. Ama \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr ki Kays hi\u00e7 korkmay\u0131p eline ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu silah\u0131, beline ba\u011flay\u0131p bir \u00f6m\u00fcr kendine siper etti a\u015fk\u0131\u2026 A\u015fk yedi \u00e7\u00f6llerde, a\u015fk i\u00e7ti\u2026<\/p>\n

A\u015fk sustu, Kays sustu! Kays konu\u015ftu\u011fu zaman a\u015fk konu\u015ftu. Dillere destan dizelere can\u0131ndan can verdi\u2026 Yeri geldi silah\u0131 kalbine do\u011frulttu ama hi\u00e7bir zaman teti\u011fi \u00e7eken olmad\u0131\u2026 Yeri geldi \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rd\u0131 kendine ya\u015fatt\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in kendinden \u00f6c al\u0131r gibi silah\u0131 aln\u0131na dayad\u0131 ama m\u00fcmk\u00fcnat\u0131 yaln\u0131z filmlerde oldu\u011fu gibi tam vurulaca\u011f\u0131 anda ortadan kayboldu\u2026<\/p>\n

Yok oldu Kays\u2026 Kays gitti, Mecnun oldu\u2026 Senelerce o silah Mecnun\u2019un hayat\u0131na kastedercesine tehditler savurdu\u2026 Mecnun da yok oldu ortadan\u2026 Art\u0131k yok oldu\u2026 Ne Kays, ne de Mecnun.. O art\u0131k Leyla oldu\u2026 Yok oldu Kays\u2019\u0131n bedeninde, Leyla\u2019n\u0131n ruhunda can buldu, a\u015fkta Leyla\u2019da dirildi\u2026 Kendi elleriyle kendini diri diri mezara koydu\u2026 A\u011f\u0131tlar yakmad\u0131 kendi cenazesinin ard\u0131ndan\u2026 Bu yok olu\u015f Mecnun\u2019un a\u015fkta yeniden dirili\u015fi oldu\u2026<\/p>\n

Okudu\u011fum her a\u015fkta a\u015f\u0131klar kendi ruhundan vazge\u00e7ip ba\u015fka ruhta can oldu\u2026 Y\u00e2r oldu; y\u00e2r \u00f6ks\u00fcz\u00fc iken kendine. Yaren oldu da\u011f ba\u015f\u0131 yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda kendine yolda\u015f oldu\u2026 A\u015fk\u0131 i\u00e7in ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcyse o oldu\u2026 Her \u015fey oldu\u2026 Asl\u0131nda her \u015fey de\u011fil, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey olamad\u0131\u2026 Oysa olsa olsa tek bir \u015fey olurdu.. O da ola ola, \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr \u201aa\u015fk\u2018 oldu\u2026<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Y\u00fcre\u011fimin A\u015fk Mabedi Zeynep Yal\u00e7\u0131n   Kays gibi dillere d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp Mecnun\u2019a \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ad\u0131m hen\u00fcz\u2026 Ger\u00e7i dillere d\u00fc\u015fersem e\u011fer O\u2019nu i\u00e7imde ya\u015famama izin vermezlerdi bir ba\u015f\u0131ma, belki de bundan korkuyordum\u2026 Ger\u00e7i Mecnun\u2019dan farks\u0131z \u015fiirler yaz\u0131yordum y\u00e2rime; Leyla gibi duyamasa da yazmak haz veriyordu ruhuma. E\u011fer bir erkek olsayd\u0131m ya Kays gibi \u00e7\u00f6llerde ya\u015far ya da \u015eems…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17401,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[144,306,308],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-edeb","category-haziran-temmuz-26","category-zeynep-yalcin","category-144","category-306","category-308","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t