{"id":17250,"date":"2026-04-15T20:14:16","date_gmt":"2026-04-15T17:14:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/?p=17250"},"modified":"2026-04-15T20:14:16","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T17:14:16","slug":"sise-i-dilim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/2026\/04\/15\/sise-i-dilim\/","title":{"rendered":"\u015e\u00ee\u015fe-i D\u00eelim"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u015e\u00ee\u015fe-i D\u00eelim<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tugay Mola<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Da\u011f gibi da\u011fdan da ge\u00e7tim. Ba\u011f gibi ba\u011fdan da ge\u00e7tim. Azap gibi azaptan da ge\u00e7tim… Beni dinle gece vakti dostum. Dediler ki: “Ben buraday\u0131m.” Sen neredesin? Ses kimden geliyordu? O soluk kimden ki kime ula\u015facakt\u0131? “S\u00fck\u00fbt ettiler… Ses \u00e7\u0131kartmad\u0131lar desem” yalan s\u00f6ylemi\u015f olurum. \u0130nan ki ac\u0131n\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden ge\u00e7tim. S\u00f6ylediklerimi k\u00e2le almalar\u0131n\u0131 istemedim; ne de s\u00f6zlerimden dolay\u0131 hiddetleneceklerini dilendim…<\/p>\n

Meyhaneler meyden, cephaneler elemden, k\u00fct\u00fcphaneler dertten a\u011flarlar iken kalem arad\u0131m. Bulamad\u0131m… O an “Kan\u0131m\u0131 ak\u0131t\u0131p da yazay\u0131m” dedim. Fikriyat\u0131m ve zikrayat\u0131m birbirlerine \u00f6yle h\u00fccum ettiler ki harp miydi yoksa sulh mu? Gece vaktine kadar k\u0131rk d\u00f6nd\u00fcm! Sanki mezarlar\u0131 atlar gibi d\u00f6v\u00fcnd\u00fcm! Kederimi dinle ey Halil \u0130brahim yolcusu…<\/p>\n

Al ve ashab\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131na al da dinle ey can… S\u00f6ylediklerimin birer birer hesab\u0131n\u0131 verecek imk\u00e2n\u0131m\u0131n, karar\u0131m\u0131n ve derman\u0131m\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na ezel bezminden beri iman ettim. Kalemi yaratan Allah\u2019a (cc) kasem olsun ki her zerrede al\u0131p \u00e7\u0131karaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z dersler vard\u0131r! \u0130man\u0131n derslerini senin y\u00fcce g\u00f6nl\u00fcn veriyor. Buna iman ettim…<\/p>\n

Yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde \u00f6yle canlar dola\u015f\u0131r ki buna da\u011fdaki de ba\u011fdaki de vak\u0131f iken ovadaki neden sadakatsiz, vefas\u0131z kals\u0131n ki? Divanlar divanele\u015firler onlar\u0131n g\u00f6n\u00fcl tahtlar\u0131nda. \u0130hvanlar Bilalle\u015firler onlar\u0131n cennet huzurlar\u0131nda. Kalemler kutupla\u015f\u0131rlar onlar\u0131n sidre \u00fclkelerinde. Ay merhametle par\u0131ldar. G\u00fcne\u015f vefayla nur sa\u00e7ar. Y\u0131ld\u0131z tebess\u00fcmlerle g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden g\u00fcller sa\u00e7ar; onlar\u0131n ukba y\u00fcreklerine…<\/p>\n

Vefa! Ey can, vefa! Can\u0131m\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131n yetmez mi? Merhamet! Ey merhamet! Canan\u0131m\u0131 a\u011flatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n yetmez mi? Ey a\u015fk, ruhumu benden ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n yetmez mi? Ey hasret! Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n yetmez mi ki?<\/p>\n

“Yeter! Yeter! Sus art\u0131k!” diye ba\u011f\u0131ran\u0131n sesi gelirken kulaklar\u0131ma, s\u00f6z\u00fc elimden alacakt\u0131… “Ben buraday\u0131m! Sen neredesin?!” diyecekti! U\u011fultular geliyordu… G\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcler kopuyordu… \u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar… Isl\u0131klar… Takip edemedim s\u00f6ylediklerini…<\/p>\n

Zira feryat ederek gelmi\u015ftim ben. \u015e\u00e2d\u0131 berd\u00e2n seher y\u0131ld\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 beklemi\u015ftim. Ay gibi y\u00fcz\u00fcme tebess\u00fcm edecek “A\u015fk”\u0131m\u0131 istemi\u015ftim. Ezel bezmi a\u015fk\u0131m… “A\u015fk ben olay\u0131m” demi\u015ftim. “Me\u015fkte ben olay\u0131m” dedim. Hem “\u00e2\u015f\u0131k” olay\u0131m dedim hem “m\u00e2\u015fuk”. Hem “saz” hem “s\u00f6z” olay\u0131m dedim. Hem “kalem” hem de “kitap”. Hem “vefa” hem de “hasret”. Hem “ac\u0131 veren” hem de “ac\u0131 alan” ben olay\u0131m dedim. Neler olmak istedim ah bir bilseydin levh-i mahfuz varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131…<\/p>\n

Hal bundan ibaret iken \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi burnunda olan tac\u0131 da taht\u0131 da bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na verdim. Kitab\u0131 da kaftan\u0131 da bir geriden gelene b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Mezar\u0131m addetti\u011fim risaleme gel… Gel de beni fatihalar ile y\u00e2d et. \u015e\u00e2d et beni… Gel de beni Sahibime azat et. Filozof de\u011filim ki yazd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 tersinden izah edeyim. Nicedir onlar\u0131n \u00e7ektikleri ac\u0131lar\u0131n \u015fah damar\u0131n\u0131 elimde tuttum… Tutuyorum…<\/p>\n

Vicahi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcmlerimizin ne ehemmiyeti olur ki \u015fifahi yaz\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131z olmad\u0131ktan sonra? Ben mezardan yazarken sen de bana cennet d\u00fcnyandan yaz. “Olmaz” dersen yerlerimizi de\u011fi\u015ftirip yaz\u0131\u015fal\u0131m. “\u0130kra” diyen yazd\u0131!<\/p>\n

Yazan O (cc)! Yazd\u0131ran O (cc)! Okuyan O (cc)! Okutturan O (cc)! Bizlerinki c\u00fczi irade de\u011fil mi ki? Velakin “e\u011fer” dedim… R\u00fccu etmem d\u00fcnyada mevzubahis bile de\u011fil ise bari ukbada beni kurtaracak g\u00f6n\u00fcl vefam olsun. “A\u015fk\u0131m, merhametim, hasretim olsun” dedim. O y\u00fczden vicahi yerine kitabi geldim yan\u0131na…<\/p>\n

Kum beldesi nicedir sallan\u0131yor. K\u0131yametin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fc haylidir kopuyor! Rahmet ve merhamet Allah\u2019tan (cc)! Ben ise ezelden beri salland\u0131m. K\u0131yametin b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015fad\u0131m ve h\u00e2l\u00e2 ya\u015fad\u0131m. “\u015e\u00ee\u015fe-i d\u00eelim k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131n” diye s\u0131ratta neler \u00e7ektim neler. Ben fenala\u015f\u0131rken \u015f\u00ee\u015fe-i d\u00eelimi k\u0131rmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Heyhat, ba\u015faramad\u0131m…<\/p>\n

O y\u00fczden yazarken a\u011flar\u0131m. Feryad\u0131mla da\u011flara i\u011fne bat\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m. Kezzap ile yak\u0131l\u0131r\u0131m. Divanlar\u0131 divaneli\u011fe de\u011fi\u015firim… O y\u00fczden… Ben senin cennet sohbetini severim. \u0130hvan\u0131n\u0131, \u00e2l ve ashab\u0131n\u0131 severim… Yad\u0131n\u0131 severim… Davan\u0131 severim…<\/p>\n

Seni severim! Ancak! Ben Allah\u2019\u0131 (cc) isterim!<\/p>\n

Tarih: 25\/07\/2007<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u015e\u00ee\u015fe-i D\u00eelim Tugay Mola \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Da\u011f gibi da\u011fdan da ge\u00e7tim. Ba\u011f gibi ba\u011fdan da ge\u00e7tim. Azap gibi azaptan da ge\u00e7tim… Beni dinle gece vakti dostum. Dediler ki: “Ben buraday\u0131m.” Sen neredesin? Ses kimden geliyordu? O soluk kimden ki kime ula\u015facakt\u0131? “S\u00fck\u00fbt ettiler… Ses \u00e7\u0131kartmad\u0131lar desem” yalan s\u00f6ylemi\u015f olurum. \u0130nan ki ac\u0131n\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17284,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145,303,153],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dusunce","category-nisan-26","category-tugaymola","category-145","category-303","category-153","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/1776267317164.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17250"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17250"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17251,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17250\/revisions\/17251"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17284"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}