Kimseye etmem \u015fik\u00e2yet, a\u011flar\u0131m ben derdime n\u00e2meleri d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrken dilinden, bir dervi\u015f kalenderli\u011finde tev\u00e2zu \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcne b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc benli\u011fi.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsan kendini kime \u015fik\u00e2yet edebilirdi ki, kendini kendine d\u00e2h\u00ee \u015fik\u00e2yet edemezken \u00fcstelik. Her vuk\u00fb kendi ir\u00e2desine ba\u011fl\u0131 de\u011fil miydi insan\u0131n?<\/p>\n
Ah kesip atabilseydi kangren olmu\u015f t\u00fcm merhabalar\u0131, yedi\u011fi tokat\u0131n tad\u0131na doyamam\u0131\u015f gibi di\u011fer yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7evirmemeyi becerebilseydi insan.<\/p>\n
Zannettiklerimin zannetmedi\u011fim gibi olmas\u0131na g\u00fcceni\u011fim dedi, bir de kendime en \u00e7ok kendime.. Yanl\u0131\u015f yapmay\u0131 se\u00e7en ben de\u011fildim ama yanl\u0131\u015f yapanlar\u0131 ben se\u00e7medim mi, kendi ir\u00e2demle de\u011fer vermedim mi, kime \u015fik\u00e2yet edeyim kendimi?<\/p>\n
Her \u015feyin m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011fu konu idi insan. \u0130nsan hem muktedir hem sefil olabilir miydi, insan kendini ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n eliyle kendine kurban edebilir miydi? Hangi bezginin hafakanlar\u0131yd\u0131 bunlar ve hangi insanda tecelli etmemi\u015fti ki bu vahim durum? Bir yol, bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k hi\u00e7 olmazsa tutunabilece\u011fi bir saman \u00e7\u00f6p\u00fcn\u00fcn olmay\u0131\u015f\u0131 ne b\u00fcy\u00fck acizlikti.<\/p>\n
Ah \u015fu ge\u00e7mi\u015fin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131na saklanan ve ans\u0131z\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p g\u00f6z ya\u015fartan hazin hayaller de olmasa belki de ge\u00e7ecekti.. Ayaza kesmi\u015f t\u00fcm hislerin girdab\u0131nda nefes almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak kadar zor geliyordu yeniden bir umuda ba\u011flanmak, g\u00fcvenmek ve teslim olmak. Derin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7ekti, gelece\u011fe ve ge\u00e7mi\u015fe dair i\u00e7inin k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u00fcm hayati organlar\u0131na saplan\u0131rcas\u0131na. Ge\u00e7mi\u015f ge\u00e7iyordu i\u015fte, ci\u011ferini tam ortas\u0131ndan ikiye ay\u0131r\u0131p iki farkl\u0131 sen yarat\u0131p iki seni er meydan\u0131nda vuru\u015fturarak geriye iki ma\u011flup b\u0131rakarak ge\u00e7iyordu.<\/p>\n
Bir \u015fark\u0131n\u0131n ezgisinden s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p \u015fiire evriliyordu t\u00fcm \u00e7\u0131kmazlar\u0131;<\/p>\n
Bilinmezin yurdunda felek yetim mis\u00e2li<\/p>\n
K\u00f6r sokakta duvarlar yosun ba\u011flar k\u0131yams\u0131z<\/p>\n
Delirmek! Evet m\u00fcmk\u00fcn, budur akl\u0131n vis\u00e2li<\/p>\n
Aynada bana bakan y\u00fcz\u00fcm d\u00e2hi anlams\u0131z<\/p>\n
T\u00fcm aymazl\u0131klar\u0131n k\u0131skac\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131p yar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f zihni \u2018Hele bir yar\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kal\u0131m\u2019 diyordu. Yar\u0131n? Belki de baz\u0131lar\u0131 i\u00e7in bir daha hi\u00e7 do\u011fmayacak olan g\u00fcne\u015fin yar\u0131n\u0131.. Yahut bir miskal ak\u0131llanmayaca\u011f\u0131 ve tarihin yine tekerr\u00fcr\u00fcnden ib\u00e2ret olaca\u011f\u0131 gecenin yar\u0131n\u0131..<\/p>\n
Aynadaki yabanc\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinin en kuytusuna bak\u0131p \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm dedi, sana ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve ya\u015fatamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m her \u015fey i\u00e7in \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kimseye etmem \u015fik\u00e2yet, a\u011flar\u0131m ben derdime n\u00e2meleri d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrken dilinden, bir dervi\u015f kalenderli\u011finde tev\u00e2zu \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcne b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc benli\u011fi. \u0130nsan kendini kime \u015fik\u00e2yet edebilirdi ki, kendini kendine d\u00e2h\u00ee \u015fik\u00e2yet edemezken \u00fcstelik. Her vuk\u00fb kendi ir\u00e2desine ba\u011fl\u0131 de\u011fil miydi insan\u0131n? Ah kesip atabilseydi kangren olmu\u015f t\u00fcm merhabalar\u0131, yedi\u011fi tokat\u0131n tad\u0131na doyamam\u0131\u015f gibi di\u011fer yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7evirmemeyi becerebilseydi insan. Zannettiklerimin…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17017,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[294,145,144,282],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16984","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aralik25","category-dusunce","category-edeb","category-hatice-derin-silahli","category-294","category-145","category-144","category-282","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/1765018370437-scaled.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16984"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16984"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16984\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16985,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16984\/revisions\/16985"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16984"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16984"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16984"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}