Selam olsun sana ki bende bu ak\u015fam de\u011fi\u015fik elemlerden gelipte ge\u00e7tim. Halim beni i\u015fg\u00e2l etsede if\u015f\u00e2d\u0131m\u0131 sen duyur. Tarih beni utand\u0131rd\u0131 da ne oldu ki? Atideki beni yeter ki sevindirsin. Tarihi ba\u015fkas\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Atiye kollar\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. Ben ko\u015fuyorum. Belki de g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc kendimden emin yerlerde ko\u015fturuyorum. Oras\u0131n\u0131 bilecek de\u011filim. Ancak bu azab, dilimi konu\u015fturyor. Bu hicr\u00e2n kalemimi soru\u015fturuyor. Ne diyor, ne s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor? Kimin umrunda de\u011fille\u015fiyor\u2026devirle\u015fiyor\u2026 zamans\u0131zla\u015f\u0131yor\u2026 mekans\u0131zla\u015f\u0131yor\u2026<\/p>\n
Kaderim heder boh\u00e7amda a\u00e7\u0131lmaya dursun. Kederim ka\u011f\u0131da sa\u00e7\u0131lmaya dursun. N\u2019olursun beni unutma\u2026 N\u2019olursun beni hep sev. N\u2019olursun beni hep an. Beni y\u00e2d et y\u00e2d-i hub \u00e2leminde\u2026<\/p>\n
S\u00f6ylenip de yoluna dev\u00e2m edene rastlad\u0131n m\u0131 sen hi\u00e7?<\/p>\n
Ey g\u00f6zlerimin raslant\u0131dan uzak g\u00f6nl\u00fc\u2026<\/p>\n
Ey sevin\u00e7lerimin \u00f6v\u00fcn\u00e7lerinden gelen kutlu nefes\u2026<\/p>\n
Ey c\u00e2n\u2026<\/p>\n
\u0130nan! Pencerisini bu a\u011f\u0131da a\u00e7an sen olmayacakt\u0131nda kim kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kapatacakt\u0131? Madem sen bu gece pencereden bakar oldun. O halde kar\u015f\u0131yakaya gelip sana s\u00f6ylemek istediklerimden dolay\u0131 kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 kapat\u0131rsalar kapats\u0131nlar. Ben ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131na \u201ceyvallah\u201d bile etmek istemem! \u0130zzetle ya\u015famak istedim. Pencerenden gelen Tecelliy\u00e2t-\u0131 Esm\u00e2\u2019n\u0131n(c.c) ed\u00e2s\u0131yla, sef\u00e2s\u0131yla, vef\u00e2s\u0131yla s\u0131rat yolunu m\u00fcstakim ge\u00e7mek istedim.<\/p>\n
Ge\u00e7mek istedi de yol veren mi olmad\u0131 ?! Y\u00fcr\u00fcmek istedi de engel olan m\u0131 oldu? K\u00fcheylandan sonra \u00e7atlayan m\u0131 oldu da oldu\u011fu yerde kala kald\u0131?! Ne birisi nede \u00f6tekisi. Her birisinden ge\u00e7eli nice zaman oldu. Zaman saati \u00e7alsa da kulaklar\u0131na bir\u015feyler oldu! F\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 dahi duymaz oldun. Ben bunu idrak etmekten acizim. Karar\u0131na d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm! Kurban\u0131n olay\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
Yar\u0131n gurub vaktinden \u00f6nce yola \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131m. N\u2019olursun son kez olsun burada bir \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yle ki \u015eark \u00e2leminin bestesi m\u00fcrekkebime dolans\u0131n.<\/p>\n
\u0130stikb\u00e2lin alt\u0131n anahtar\u0131n\u0131 ikb\u00e2limin yazg\u0131s\u0131na saklad\u0131m\u2026 O yazg\u0131ya vak\u0131f olmak i\u00e7in nice yollar\u0131 aklad\u0131m.Yolculu\u011fumun bid\u00e2yetinden beri y\u00e2rlar\u0131m\u0131, canlar\u0131m\u0131 hazan g\u00f6nl\u00fcmde saklad\u0131m. K\u00e2h yalvard\u0131m. K\u00e2h yakard\u0131m. K\u00e2h dualardayd\u0131m. K\u00e2h zindan-\u0131 harp anlardayd\u0131m. K\u00e2h a\u011flad\u0131m. K\u00e2h anlad\u0131m. K\u00e2h-k\u00e2h ! Aldand\u0131m! D\u00fcny\u00e2 hayat\u0131n\u0131 ahiret hayat\u0131na bedel sayd\u0131m! Yaz\u0131klar olsun bana\u2026<\/p>\n
Ah ke\u015fke ahiret hayat\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fcny\u00e2 hayat\u0131na tercih etseydimde g\u00f6klere sidre kanatlarla u\u00e7sayd\u0131m. Yer yer yak\u0131n\u0131na gelip g\u00fcle oynaya reft\u00e2re yollansayd\u0131m. Ben de o has addetti\u011fim Hub g\u00f6n\u00fcllerde olsayd\u0131m\u2026.<\/p>\n
Vur yolcum! Sende vur bu yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015f mektubun Afyon\u00ee kalemine! Vur! Ama delhizlerden gelen \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 duyur! Duyur ki Hamdallah raks\u0131na kalkay\u0131m. Bu gece d\u00f6k\u00fclmek isterim. Hen\u00fcz m\u00fcrekkebi konu\u015fturmay\u0131 ikna edemedim. Hen\u00fcz onunla pazarl\u0131k an\u0131mday\u0131m. Ancak \u015fimdi cebren hesaptan ge\u00e7erken a\u011fz\u0131mdan d\u00f6k\u00fclenler kazara ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na d\u00fc\u015ferlerse oras\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6k y\u00fcz\u00fcm sayaca\u011f\u0131m. Oras\u0131n\u0131 k\u00e2merim, \u015femsim, neh\u00e2r\u0131m addedece\u011fim\u2026<\/p>\n
S\u00f6ylentilerin \u00f6yle niyetlenmeleri vard\u0131r ki kel\u00e2ma p\u00e2di\u015fah kesilmek ister ! M\u00fcrekkebe kalem se\u00e7ilmek ister. Ka\u011f\u0131da elem serpmek ister. Nas\u0131l eder ? Bilecek durumda de\u011filim !<\/p>\n
Uzun zaman oldu ey c\u00e2n\u2026<\/p>\n
Uzun zaman oldu. \u201cSen buralardan gittin gideli\u201d demiyece\u011fim. Ben senden ge\u00e7eli uzun zaman oldu. Ben senden uzakla\u015fal\u0131 nice zaman oldu. Senden habersizce ya\u015fayal\u0131 epey zaman oldu. Ancak y\u00e2d-\u0131 Hubun her zaman g\u00f6n\u00fcl yang\u0131n\u0131ma berdusselam oldu\u2026 Hep sana dua ettim. Hep r\u0131zay\u0131 sana istedim. Azab\u0131 kendime besteledim. Hep ay\u0131, \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 senin i\u00e7in se\u00e7tim. Hep karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131, zalam\u0131 kendim i\u00e7in de\u015ftim.<\/p>\n
\u201cHak sende olsun\u201d dedim. \u201cBat\u0131l ben olay\u0131m\u201d dedim. Sen g\u00fclesin. Ben a\u011flayay\u0131m. B\u0131rak gitsin tarih kitaplar\u0131n\u0131! Kitaplara yaz\u0131lmayan bir vef\u00e2 saltanat\u0131 arzulam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Sadakat devletini aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Belhi susturacak bir \u00e2lem intiz\u00e2r etmi\u015ftim. Fethi \u00e7o\u015fturacak bir kalem fikretmi\u015ftim. Etmi\u015ftim de ben ne demi\u015ftim?<\/p>\n
Ey yolcu,<\/p>\n
Duy.. g\u00f6r\u2026 bil\u2026 Konu\u015ftuklar\u0131m\u0131 sen anlamam\u0131\u015f olsanda anlayan g\u00f6n\u00fcllerden b\u00eehaber olma! Onlar\u0131n y\u00fcce nur\u00e2niyetlerinden istif\u00e2de etmeyi ihm\u00e2l etme! Belhi, Arz-\u0131 R\u00fbmdan uzak zannetme! Mekke ve Medine aras\u0131nda zaman ve mekandan azad bir mefhumun inz\u00e2linde g\u00f6n\u00fcl mescidinde diz \u00e7\u00f6kecek olan yaral\u0131 g\u00f6nle de merhamet et\u2026 Ona da dua et\u2026 Ona da sel\u00e2m et\u2026<\/p>\n
Arac\u0131 koyma\u2026 Postac\u0131y\u0131 yollara salma\u2026 Senin g\u00f6nl\u00fcnden gelen du\u00e2lar\u0131 ve sel\u00e2mlar\u0131 ben ancak perdesiz kabul edece\u011fim. Saba r\u00fczgar\u0131n\u0131n haber getirdi\u011fini defaatle yazanlara \u015fahit olduk. Ancak gece \u00e2te\u015finin haber \u00e7ald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 defaatla ya\u015fayana acziyetimle hala \u015fahit olamad\u0131m. Kitaplara yaz\u0131lamayanlarla, hikayelere s\u0131\u011fd\u0131r\u0131lamayanlarla , zamana ve mek\u00e2na dar gelenlerle sel\u00e2m\u0131n\u0131 alaca\u011f\u0131m. Dualar\u0131n\u0131 alaca\u011f\u0131m\u2026 Her birini ad\u0131m ad\u0131m sayaca\u011f\u0131m\u2026 \u2018Yoklu\u011fum varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yoklu\u011fum\u2019 olsun deyip n\u00e2ra ataca\u011f\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
Asl\u0131nda d\u00fcn geceden beri t\u00f6vbe etmi\u015ftim. Art\u0131k yazmayacakt\u0131m. Ama neylersin ki hala yazmaktay\u0131m.<\/p>\n
D\u00fcnya zalim nefsimize zulm eder.. Hud\u00e2(c.c) bize de merhamet eder\u2026 \u0130n\u015faallah!<\/p>\n
(17 Ekim 2007)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Selam olsun sana ki bende bu ak\u015fam de\u011fi\u015fik elemlerden gelipte ge\u00e7tim. Halim beni i\u015fg\u00e2l etsede if\u015f\u00e2d\u0131m\u0131 sen duyur. Tarih beni utand\u0131rd\u0131 da ne oldu ki? Atideki beni yeter ki sevindirsin. Tarihi ba\u015fkas\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Atiye kollar\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. Ben ko\u015fuyorum. Belki de g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc kendimden emin yerlerde ko\u015fturuyorum. Oras\u0131n\u0131 bilecek de\u011filim. Ancak bu azab, dilimi konu\u015fturyor. Bu hicr\u00e2n…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16968,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145,144,293,153],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dusunce","category-edeb","category-kasim2025","category-tugaymola","category-145","category-144","category-293","category-153","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1762106777484-e1762190205128.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16950"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16950"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16951,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16950\/revisions\/16951"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}