\u0130\u00e7imi d\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u015fehre bahar gelmi\u015f. Bahar\u0131n\u0131n etkisi yok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmde, d\u00fcnyamda \u0130stanbul! Mutlulu\u011fun nas\u0131l olur senin diye sorma. Hep b\u00f6yleydin de deme bana.<\/p>\n
\u0130stanbul, g\u00f6zlerime bak ve g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlat bana. Bahar m\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn? Yan\u0131l\u0131yorsun. Sen mi? Sen de de\u011filsin g\u00f6r\u00fcnen. Derine bak, daha derine cesaretin varsa. Y\u00fcre\u011fime giden yoldan, S\u00fcveyda\u2019n\u0131n harabelerine \u00e7\u0131kan d\u00f6nemece bak.<\/p>\n
Anla derdimi ve \u00e7\u00f6z hadi \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rtan zaman\u0131n ve bilinmezli\u011fin hikmetini. \u00c7abalamak, yapabildi\u011fim ve umuduna tutunmak, tek bildi\u011fim. Umudum O’ndan.<\/p>\n
Akl\u0131nda gezinip duran ne diye sorma. Kucak kucak eksiklik ku\u015fat\u0131yor beni.<\/p>\n
Ruhumla bedenim ayn\u0131 yere s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015famaz oldu. Sanki biri \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gitse, yerinden rahatlayacak soluksuz zerrelerim. Ruhuma h\u00fckm\u00fcm yok, bedenimse bana g\u00f6re a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck…<\/p>\n
G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m ak\u0131p giderken, Nisan ya\u011fmurlar\u0131 aynas\u0131nda kendini seyretmek istiyor g\u00f6zlerim. Ve ben akan ya\u015flar\u0131n i\u00e7imden kopar\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcklerini kimselere fark ettiremiyorum. Kimseye! Sana bile, \u0130stanbul…<\/p>\n
G\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn de\u011ferli hanesinden an olsun ge\u00e7medi mi ad\u0131m? Bilirsin, \u00f6l\u00fcm dahi kavu\u015fmad\u0131r vuslata yananlara. Ah! A\u011flad\u0131k\u00e7a yanan firkat ate\u015fi mi d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc bana? \u0130zin ver, yak\u0131nl\u0131k umuduna yaslans\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131n k\u0131s\u0131tl\u0131 beklentileri. Yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ta\u015f\u0131s\u0131n bizi Sonsuz\u2019a.<\/p>\n
G\u00fcc\u00fcm yetti\u011fince ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorum: Mutluluk payla\u015f\u0131l\u0131nca \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131rm\u0131\u015f! Yalan!!! Sadece mutlu olanlarla payla\u015f\u0131n l\u00fctfen. Ancak onlarla \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. Rahats\u0131z etmeyin puslu d\u00fcnyamda beni. D\u00fcnyaya dair \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 istemiyorum. Ac\u0131 veriyor daha \u00e7ok bahar tablolar\u0131n\u0131z ve hayat dolu s\u00f6ylemleriniz. \u0130sterseniz de kurtaramazs\u0131n\u0131z g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeler bo\u015funa… Beni b\u0131rak\u0131n ve gidin \u015fimdi. Hemen \u015fimdi!<\/p>\n
T\u00fcm kalabal\u0131klar\u0131n yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 surat\u0131ma \u00e7arpt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerdeyim \u015fimdi. Ya\u015fam\u0131 t\u00fcketen zehrin ya\u015fam\u0131n tad\u0131 diye sunuldu\u011fu yerde. T\u00fcm katillerin \u00f6nce y\u00fcrekleri vurdu\u011fu yerde. Yorgun, t\u00fckenmi\u015f, \u00e7aresiz… Hasrete d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcren cevaplar\u0131n, sorulmaya korkulan cevaplar\u0131 var akl\u0131mda. Akl\u0131m\u0131 alsan da akl\u0131mdan seni almas\u0131n Yaradan. \u0130stanbul… Yan\u0131mda kal… Ve al beni beyhude yoruldu\u011fum \u00e7\u0131kmazlardan. Al ve ayd\u0131nl\u0131k g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn daha y\u00fcr\u00fcyemedi\u011fimiz mutlu sokaklar\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
Bo\u015funa tavsiyeler, iflah olma zaman\u0131m baharlara yeti\u015fmedi. Ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m \u0130stanbul. Her \u015feye, herkese. Ve sana \u0130stanbul. En \u00e7ok sana ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m, t\u00fcm beklemelerini t\u00fcketti\u011fini bilmemenin safl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla. Yakacak gemim bile yok, g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor musun? Bana gemileri yakman\u0131n hesab\u0131n\u0131 yapmaktan bahsetme. G\u00f6zlerinde kaybolman\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. En kazan\u00e7l\u0131 kay\u0131pt\u0131 bana. Geceyin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na uyand\u0131m. \u015e\u00fck\u00fcrlerim, senin sevginin kalbime de\u011fmesiyle ba\u015flamal\u0131yd\u0131. Ah! \u015e\u00fckre de ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m… Ama \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr vars\u0131n, akl\u0131mdas\u0131n, duamdas\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Vefaya da ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m \u0130stanbul. Ama sen bilmesen de ben senin en \u00e7ok vefana hayran\u0131m. Sonsuz sevginin kalbime koydu\u011fu emanetisin. De\u011ferini bilemedim. Ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m m\u0131 sence?<\/p>\n
Sen… O’nun taraf\u0131ndan sevildi\u011fimin en iyi g\u00f6rebildi\u011fim delilisin. \u0130stanbul, sen nesin? G\u00f6nl\u00fcme perdesin…<\/p>\n
Ay\u015fe Revan<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u0130\u00e7imi d\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u015fehre bahar gelmi\u015f. Bahar\u0131n\u0131n etkisi yok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmde, d\u00fcnyamda \u0130stanbul! Mutlulu\u011fun nas\u0131l olur senin diye sorma. Hep b\u00f6yleydin de deme bana. \u0130stanbul, g\u00f6zlerime bak ve g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlat bana. Bahar m\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn? Yan\u0131l\u0131yorsun. Sen mi? Sen de de\u011filsin g\u00f6r\u00fcnen. Derine bak, daha derine cesaretin varsa. Y\u00fcre\u011fime giden yoldan, S\u00fcveyda\u2019n\u0131n harabelerine \u00e7\u0131kan d\u00f6nemece bak. Anla derdimi…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16798,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[277,144,284],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ayse-revan","category-edeb","category-mart-25","category-277","category-144","category-284","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t