Ya\u011fmuru a\u011flamadan anlatmay\u0131 beceremedi\u011fim g\u00fcnlerin birinde, \u201chi\u00e7bir havay\u0131 sevemedim d\u00fcnyadan, ya\u011fmurda \u0131slanmay\u0131 \u00f6zledi\u011fim kadar…\u201d diye \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen \u00e7ocu\u011fa rastlad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
B\u00fcy\u00fck\/lendi\u011fim akl\u0131ma ters gelen \u00e7ocuk\u00e7a \u015feyler anlatt\u0131 ufak seslerle\u2026<\/p>\n
Mant\u0131kl\u0131 ol, dedim, \u201cger\u00e7ek\u201d denilen da\u011flar var burada. Korkup geri d\u00f6nmesi i\u00e7in, i\u00e7inde saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuk yan\u0131yla sevenleri yiyen canavardan bahsettim.<\/p>\n
Korkmad\u0131. Korkmadan sordu \u00fcstelik:<\/p>\n
– Sen hi\u00e7 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc canavar\u0131?<\/p>\n
-?! Var diyorsam vard\u0131r, bunu b\u00f6yle bil \u00e7ocuk!<\/p>\n
– Peki dedi, utan\u00e7la ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yere e\u011fdi. Yere hen\u00fcz de\u011fmeyen ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131 tebess\u00fcmle.<\/p>\n
K\u0131zd\u0131m, d\u00fczg\u00fcn oturmas\u0131n\u0131 istedim.<\/p>\n
\u00dcz\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen kendimi yak\u0131n hissetmi\u015ftim size, o y\u00fczden\u2026\u201ddedi.<\/p>\n
Yak\u0131n hissetmek?! Yak\u0131n hissetmek zorunda olduklar\u0131n\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda birine mi yak\u0131n hissettin kendini?<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Kendime k\u0131zd\u0131m, \u201cHizaya gel!\u201d dedim. \u201cBu ciddiyetsizlik (!) \u00e7olu\u011fu \u00e7ocu\u011fu nas\u0131l s\u00f6ylettiriyor bak!\u201d<\/p>\n
Kararl\u0131 moduna ayarlad\u0131m y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc. \u201cB\u00fcy\u00fckler her \u015feyi senden daha iyi bilir\u201d dedim.<\/p>\n
\u201cBu \u015fartlarda m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Kesinlikle olmaz. \u0130mkans\u0131z.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNeden?\u201ddedi usulca, biraz \u00fcrkek ama hala umut g\u00f6zlerinde.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Yazd\u0131klar\u0131mdan bahsettim ona. Bi\u015feyler \u00f6\u011frenir de adam olur belki diye. Etkili olma sanat\u0131 \u00fczerine \u00e7ok bilgim oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledim. G\u00fcld\u00fc ilgisiz, alayc\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cNas\u0131l yaz\u0131l\u0131r peki?\u201ddiye sordum.<\/p>\n
– \u0130\u00e7inden geldi\u011fi gibi\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00a0– \u0130\u00e7imden geldi\u011fi gibi!? dedi.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen yazam\u0131yorum, anlatmak istiyorum t\u00fcm olanlar\u0131, hissettiklerimi. Onu da dinlemek istiyorum ama o beni dinlemek istemiyor san\u0131r\u0131m\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u0130stemsiz fark ettim, \u00e7ok k\u0131rg\u0131nd\u0131, buruk y\u00fcre\u011finin sesi yank\u0131land\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnde\u2026<\/p>\n
\u0130\u00e7indeymi\u015f hepsi. G\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerde, hep onun yan\u0131nda oldu\u011fu mutlu sabahlarda anlatmak i\u00e7in biriktiriyormu\u015f. Saklam\u0131\u015f en derine, g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fcn bilinmeyen yerine\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Ku\u015flardan, u\u00e7urtmalardan, uzun orman y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015flerinde a\u011fa\u00e7lara sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, topraktan yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yemeklerin lezzetinden, atlarla konu\u015ftu\u011fundan, ar\u0131lar\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fclmesi istemedi\u011finden bahsetti.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u0130\u015fim var\u201d dedim, \u201cvaktim yok senin b\u00f6rt\u00fc b\u00f6cek masallar\u0131n\u0131 dinlemeye\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Vaktim yok\u2026<\/p>\n
Ya\u015fam\u0131n fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissedece\u011fim hi\u00e7bir\u015feye\u2026<\/p>\n
Vaktim yok\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00c7ocuk yan\u0131m\u0131n sahipsizli\u011fi hat\u0131rlatacak an\u0131lara\u2026<\/p>\n
Vaktim yok seni dinlemeye\u2026<\/p>\n
Kendimi dinlemeye\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
G\u00f6zlerini kocaman a\u00e7arak bana bakt\u0131. Cevaps\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma dayanamay\u0131p gitmek i\u00e7in izin istedi. \u201cNereye?\u201d diye sordum.<\/p>\n
– Hayal kurmaya\u2026<\/p>\n
Kat\u0131la kat\u0131la g\u00fcld\u00fcm.<\/p>\n
Hayal\u2026<\/p>\n
Ad\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde.<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ek de\u011fil ki bu.<\/p>\n
Kime faydas\u0131 var?<\/p>\n
\n
\u00c7ok k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u2026<\/p>\n
Yan\u0131na gittim. Yata\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerinde oturmu\u015f, nefes ald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bile b\u00eehaber d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerde\u2026 \u00c7ok a\u011flam\u0131\u015f\u2026 \u201cSenin i\u00e7in bir hayal kurdum\u201d dedi. T\u00fcm olanlar\u0131, k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 unuttu\u011funu bile unutmu\u015f tebess\u00fcmle\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cDilerim\u2026<\/p>\n
Uyudu\u011funda iki melek beklesin seni ba\u015fucunda\u2026<\/p>\n
G\u00f6zlerini bile k\u0131rpmadan, nefes bile almadan\u2026<\/p>\n
Biri sa\u011f\u0131nda, biri solunda\u2026<\/p>\n
T\u00fcm dualar\u0131 ve \u00e2minleri senin i\u00e7in, fecre kadar\u2026<\/p>\n
Elleri semada.<\/p>\n
Yery\u00fcz\u00fcne ini\u015fleri kucak kucak umut sana, bana, bize, ikimize, hepimize\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
\u0130ki melek uyand\u0131rs\u0131n seni vuslat\/a d\u00fc\u015f\/en uykulardan\u2026<\/p>\n
G\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeleri g\u00fcne\u015ften \u00f6nce do\u011fsun hasretimin simas\u0131na\u2026<\/p>\n
Uzakl\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan bir par\u00e7a ta\u015f\u0131s\u0131nlar yak\u0131n\u0131na\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Ayaku\u00e7lar\u0131na bas\u0131p bana uzand\u0131. Kula\u011f\u0131ma iki kelime f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131, meleklere koydu\u011fu isimleri\u2026 Sonra y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakt\u0131, maziden, i\u00e7ten, derinden:<\/p>\n
\u201cS\u0131rr\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kimseye s\u00f6yleme\u2026\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u2026<\/p>\n
Odaday\u0131m. Saat bile esnemeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f yorgunluktan. Gece yar\u0131s\u0131 isyan ediyor \u0131srarl\u0131 beklemelerime. Uyku, seni d\u00fc\u015flemeyi bana b\u0131rakt\u0131 gitti uyudu \u00e7oktan.<\/strong><\/p>\n Bekliyorum \u00e7ocuk yan\u0131m\u0131n en sevdi\u011fi, en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuk yan\u0131mla sevdi\u011fim\u2026<\/p>\n Gece yar\u0131s\u0131, kalem, ka\u011f\u0131t, saat 3. Uykusuzluk, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar, kelimeler, c\u00fcmleler,\u00a0 yaz\u0131daki ba\u015f harflerin.. hepimiz topland\u0131k seni bekliyoruz.<\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n \u00d6n\u00fcmdeki aynaya yak\u0131nla\u015f\u0131yorum. Ya\u011fmurda \u0131slanan \u00e7ocu\u011fun s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam g\u00f6zlerine daha yak\u0131ndan bakmak i\u00e7in\u2026<\/p>\n \n Eyl\u00fcl (Ay\u015fe Revan)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ya\u011fmuru a\u011flamadan anlatmay\u0131 beceremedi\u011fim g\u00fcnlerin birinde, \u201chi\u00e7bir havay\u0131 sevemedim d\u00fcnyadan, ya\u011fmurda \u0131slanmay\u0131 \u00f6zledi\u011fim kadar…\u201d diye \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen \u00e7ocu\u011fa rastlad\u0131m. B\u00fcy\u00fck\/lendi\u011fim akl\u0131ma ters gelen \u00e7ocuk\u00e7a \u015feyler anlatt\u0131 ufak seslerle\u2026 Mant\u0131kl\u0131 ol, dedim, \u201cger\u00e7ek\u201d denilen da\u011flar var burada. Korkup geri d\u00f6nmesi i\u00e7in, i\u00e7inde saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuk yan\u0131yla sevenleri yiyen canavardan bahsettim. Korkmad\u0131. Korkmadan sordu \u00fcstelik: –…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[277,144,276],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ayse-revan","category-edeb","category-ekim-24","category-277","category-144","category-276","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Pasted-Graphic-pdf.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16644"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16644"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16645,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16644\/revisions\/16645"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}