Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz herhangi bir hadiseyi nas\u0131l alg\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve bu alg\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131za ne zaman, nas\u0131l yans\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bazen olur ki kendimiz bile bilemeyebiliriz. \u0130stisnalar\u0131 daima vard\u0131r, kabul edilmeli. Kimsenin i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 kendimize g\u00f6re yorumlama l\u00fcks\u00fcm\u00fcz olamaz, velev ki \u00f6nyarg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, tespitlerimiz do\u011fru olsun.<\/p>\n
Di\u011fer bir ifade ile, istenmeyen bir olay ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za geldi\u011finde, d\u0131\u015far\u0131da sorumlu aramak anlams\u0131z. Kendi \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 karartma konusunda biz bize yeteriz. Veya ba\u015fkalar\u0131ndan bize \u0131\u015f\u0131k olmalar\u0131n\u0131 beklemek kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131z kalmaya mahkumdur, her zaman. Dostlar bizde olan\u0131 bize yans\u0131tabilirler ancak.<\/p>\n
H\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne kadar k\u00f6t\u00fc oldu\u011funu anlat\u0131p duran bir insan\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnelim mesela. Bir s\u00fcre sonra h\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n binbir farkl\u0131 tonlar\u0131ndan birisinde bulabiliriz onu. \u0130lgili oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in midir s\u00f6ylemleri, k\u00f6t\u00fc oldu\u011funa m\u0131 inanmaz t\u00fcm h\u00fccreleriyle, duygular\u0131yla, mazeretlerine mi yenilir yoksa, haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 haks\u0131zl\u0131kla yenmek midir murad\u0131, do\u011frulu\u011fa lay\u0131k olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr toplumun? Bilinmez.<\/p>\n
Veya bilim diyorsa her c\u00fcmlesinde, hay\u0131r hasenattan, iyilikten bahsediyorsa\u2026 niyeti ne ola ki? Ya ben? S\u00fcrekli insan der dururum, nereye ki yolum? Bilinmez. C\u00fcmlelerimizin hareketlerimize nas\u0131l yans\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131na, halimizin hangi \u015fartlara ra\u011fmen stabil kalabildi\u011fine bakmal\u0131.<\/p>\n
Mesela 30 y\u0131ll\u0131k gurbet\u00e7i, bir trafik cezas\u0131 yedi\u011finde strese girer, duygu bo\u015falmas\u0131 ya\u015far, kendisini d\u0131\u015flanm\u0131\u015f hisseder. Bu ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n nedenlerini sonu\u00e7ta aramak bizi yan\u0131ltabilir, do\u011fru olamaz. Bir\u015feylerin birikimi s\u00f6zkonusu, mutlaka. Veya isyanlar\u0131na bir sebep arama, bulma\u2026<\/p>\n
Bir aile dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131n\u0131n ifadeleri\u2026 Kocas\u0131ndan dayak yiyen bir kad\u0131n\u0131n tekrar evlilik tercihlerinde k\u00f6t\u00fcy\u00fc \u00e7ekebilece\u011fini s\u00f6yler. Velev ki, iyi birisiyle hayat\u0131na devam etmeye karar verdi, mutlu olabilir mi, diye de sorar.<\/p>\n
Alg\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131, de\u011ferlerini, ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131, \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlerini tek tek dinlemek isterdim. Sonuna kadar, sonsuza\u2026 T\u00fcm insanlar \u00fczerinde deneyerek, test ederek, do\u011frulu\u011funu ger\u00e7ekleyerek\u2026 Ama kelimelerin bana hissettirdikleri hi\u00e7 de iyi de\u011fil. \u00dcz\u00fcc\u00fc, korkutucu hatta. \u0130bretlik halimizin, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bir \u00f6zeti sanki, ne yaz\u0131k ki.<\/p>\n
Genel anlamda dayak vah\u015fice bir cezad\u0131r. \u00a0Buna ra\u011fmen, cayd\u0131r\u0131c\u0131l\u0131k \u00f6zelli\u011fi nedeniyle, realitelerimiz de g\u00f6z\u00f6n\u00fcne al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tamamen yok olmas\u0131n\u0131 dilemenin kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yok. Veya bir h\u0131rs\u0131za, ars\u0131za verilebilecek olan hapis cezas\u0131 \u00e7ok mu insanc\u0131l? Hem de istenmeyen olaylar\u0131n ya\u015fanmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekenler konusunda toplumun t\u00fcm bireyleri sorumlu iken.. Ya affetmeyi neden unuturuz ki, affederek cezaland\u0131rmay\u0131?<\/p>\n
Uzun s\u00f6z\u00fcn k\u0131sas\u0131, ailede ya\u015fananlar\u0131 irdeleyebilmek \u00fczere dayak fasl\u0131n\u0131 bir kenara b\u0131rakmal\u0131y\u0131z. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc buna odakland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda baz\u0131 ger\u00e7ekleri g\u00f6rebilmemiz m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayabilir.<\/p>\n
E\u015f se\u00e7imi ciddi bir karard\u0131r. Evlilik \u00f6ncesi edinilen tecr\u00fcbelerin bir sonucu ve bunun \u00fczerine in\u015fa edilmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131lan yeni bir hayat… Pek \u00e7ok kriter, e\u015flerin her biri taraf\u0131ndan, di\u011feri de hesaba kat\u0131larak ele al\u0131nmal\u0131. Mevcut durum da de\u011ferlendirilmeli, hayattan, evlilikten beklentiler, hedefler…<\/p>\n
Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7 hem kolay hem de zordur. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce d\u00fcnyam\u0131zda, \u00e7evremizdeki insanlar ile ili\u015fkilerimizde dengeleri g\u00f6zetebiliyorsak \u00f6zel bir gayrete ihtiya\u00e7 bile hissetmeyebiliriz. Aksi, bu denklemi \u00e7\u00f6zmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn bile olmayabilir.<\/p>\n
Aile, bir olman\u0131n denendi\u011fi, ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck birimdir. Orada BEN yoktur, olamaz, olmas\u0131 kabul edilemez. Tabii ki teoride. Ya\u015fanan problemlerin hepsi denebilecek ekseriyette nedeni buradad\u0131r. S\u00f6ylemlerin prati\u011fe yans\u0131t\u0131lamamas\u0131, hakl\u0131l\u0131k iddialar\u0131, di\u011ferinin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131, duygular\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zetememe\u2026<\/p>\n
Belki de bu aile dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131yla her\u015feyden \u00f6nce aile kavram\u0131 \u00fczerinde konu\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131m. Onun a\u00e7mazlar\u0131nda do\u011frulanmal\u0131, dengelerinde tamamlanmal\u0131y\u0131m. Veya benim d\u0131\u015f\u0131mda, t\u00fcm bireylerin \u00f6zg\u00fcr, mutlu mesut ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir d\u00fcnya var ise, ke\u015ffetmeliyim.<\/p>\n
Sedat \u0130lhan<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz herhangi bir hadiseyi nas\u0131l alg\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve bu alg\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131za ne zaman, nas\u0131l yans\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bazen olur ki kendimiz bile bilemeyebiliriz. \u0130stisnalar\u0131 daima vard\u0131r, kabul edilmeli. Kimsenin i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 kendimize g\u00f6re yorumlama l\u00fcks\u00fcm\u00fcz olamaz, velev ki \u00f6nyarg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, tespitlerimiz do\u011fru olsun. Di\u011fer bir ifade ile, istenmeyen bir olay ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za geldi\u011finde, d\u0131\u015far\u0131da sorumlu aramak anlams\u0131z. Kendi \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16386,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145,213,252],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dusunce","category-sedat-ilhan","category-subat-24","category-145","category-213","category-252","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/sedat.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16384"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16384"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16384\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16385,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16384\/revisions\/16385"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}