Bir dervi\u015fin g\u00f6nl\u00fc t\u00fcllenmi\u015fti g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn ar\u015f\u0131na\u2026 Nas\u0131ld\u0131r, nicedir? E\u011fer senin h\u00e2lin Allah\u2019tan uzaksa bana sak\u0131n beni sevdi\u011fini s\u00f6yleme, inanmam. E\u011fer Hak\u2019tan geldiysem, b\u00e2t\u0131ldan ge\u00e7ene inanmam. E\u011fer Hak\u2019tan geldiysen b\u00e2t\u0131la kap\u0131lmam.<\/p>\n
\u201cSak\u0131n beni sevdi\u011fini s\u00f6yleme!\u201d diye ihtar ederken s\u00f6zlerini kime atfedece\u011fini \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. A\u015fk\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131 m\u0131 vard\u0131r ki a\u015fk\u0131 hapse atm\u0131\u015flar\u2026 A\u015fka kap\u0131 kapatm\u0131\u015flar\u2026 A\u015fk\u0131 dara\u011fac\u0131 nefislere asm\u0131\u015flar\u2026 Ey her yan\u0131 p\u00fcr-yan! Dilimi kessen de d\u00eelimi konu\u015fturaca\u011f\u0131m! Dilimi p\u00e2re p\u00e2re etsen de ruhumla konu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m. Zuhurumla konu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m. Bu yola h\u00e2s\u0131l\u0131 ki devam edece\u011fim\u2026<\/p>\n
\u00c2li Merd\u00e2n! G\u00f6nl\u00fc mercan! \u0130stibdad\u0131ma tenezz\u00fcl eder misin efendim\u2026 Ellerimdeki y\u00fcz\u00fcklerin say\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7alma! Boynumda ne id\u00fc\u011f\u00fc belirsiz kurdelemden dolay\u0131 beni ak\u0131ll\u0131 sanma! Ne ak\u0131lla geldim kap\u0131na… ne de ellerimdeki y\u00fcz\u00fcklerin maliyetine kap\u0131l\u0131p geldim kap\u0131na\u2026 Seni duymak istedim her yerde\u2026 Seni duymak istedim minber g\u00f6n\u00fcllerde. Sana yakla\u015fmak istedim mihrab beyitlerde. Sana yalvarmak istedim har\u00e2b gecelerde. Sana anlatmak\u2026 Sana anlatmak\u2026 Kap\u0131n a\u00e7 gayri Efendim\u2026<\/p>\n
Ellerini \u00e7\u0131rpanlar vard\u0131\u2026 Meclisin ortas\u0131na kendilerini at\u0131p kendilerinden ge\u00e7enler vard\u0131. Hem \u00e7alg\u0131c\u0131lar da kendilerinden ge\u00e7mi\u015flerdi. B\u00fclb\u00fclan Belh\u2019i Kudus\u2019e getirmi\u015flerdi. Neresiydi ki? Hem Mekk\u00ee, hem Meden\u00ee. Hz. Muhammed\u2019in taht-\u0131 c\u00e2n\u0131 h\u00fckm etmi\u015fti s\u00fcrg\u00fcn saray\u0131m\u0131n tac\u0131na\u2026<\/p>\n
Ey yolcu! B\u0131rak gitsin, de\u011fme a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131ma\u2026 Ne dedi\u011fimi ben bilemediysem, sen nereden bilecektin ki? Eskiler, yeniler diye ay\u0131r\u0131m rahlesinde oturmad\u0131m ben. Gelenler-gidenler diye mihrap de\u011fi\u015ftirmedim ben. Hat\u00eebim bir olsun dedim. Minberim bir olsun dedim. Elest bezminin bestesini istedim. Aynaya bak hele bir defa. Orada kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsan, onu seviyorum ben. Kim oldu\u011funu sormuyorum. Sadece aynan\u0131n i\u00e7indekine el uzat\u0131yorum\u2026 Ey k\u00e2rev\u00e2n! A\u011f\u0131r git! Afyon\u00ee s\u00e2reb\u00e2n seninle gitmek istiyor\u2026 \u2018Derreften\u00ee canezbedem!\u2019<\/p>\n
Can\u0131m bedenimden ayr\u0131l\u0131rken Leyl\u00e2\u2019n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm\u2026 O andan sonra \u00e2r\u00e2m ettim. Arab ettim. Etrak ettim. Acem ettim. Ekrad ettim. Hind\u2019den g\u00f6zlerimi geri \u00e7evirdim. Mihnet (ac\u0131) ile kap\u0131na geri geldim\u2026 Allah alemleri nas\u0131l yaratt\u0131 diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye dalsan haf\u0131zanallah k\u00fcfre girersin. Onu Ondan (c.c) ba\u015fkas\u0131 anlayamaz.<\/p>\n
Y\u00e2 Rab! K\u00fcf\u00fcr ve Hak senden geliyor! Baht\u0131na d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Beni neden yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u00fcfr\u00fcnde b\u0131rakt\u0131n!? Hayat\u0131m boyunca Hakk\u0131n\u0131 arzulad\u0131m. O y\u00fczden kendimi kalabal\u0131klar aras\u0131nda hep hapiste hissettim. Seninle ba\u015f ba\u015fa yaln\u0131z kald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda da h\u00fcrriyetin mu\u015ftusunu hisseder gibi oldum\u2026 Bir \u00fcmit dedim ama ben yoruldum. Dert bel\u00e2dan gelir. Derman devadan gelir.<\/p>\n
E\u011fer beni sevmiyorsan neden hala benim yan\u0131mda vaktimi heba edersin Ey\u2026 ?E\u011fer bana kendini sevdiriyorsan sana neden hala cefa ederim Ey …? Aram\u0131zda nas\u0131l bir a\u015fk vard\u0131 ki Z\u00fclfikar\u2019\u0131n keskin seyfi kesip de g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc ci\u011ferimin beytini. Bir bilen olsayd\u0131 hecelerimin seyrini. Bir sezen olsayd\u0131 gecelerimin derdini. Dualar\u0131m\u0131n iniltilerini duyan olsayd\u0131 vallah \u015fan\u0131na \u2018amin\u2019 derdi. G\u00f6nl\u00fcm ta\u015f\u0131 yerinden edeli zaman oldu. Buna ra\u011fmen beni sevdi\u011fini mi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsun? Hayalim Basra a\u015f\u0131s\u0131 yedi\u011finden beri neler s\u00f6yledin bilemedim. Zira ben kendi s\u00f6ylediklerimi dahi anlayacak halde de\u011fildim.<\/p>\n
Seneyi a\u015fk\u0131n yetmi\u015f derdimle ba\u011fda\u015f kurdum. Her bir ac\u0131dan tad\u0131m tad\u0131m tadd\u0131m. Her sanc\u0131dan nefes nefes ald\u0131m. Her a\u011fr\u0131dan ar\u015f ar\u015f yazd\u0131m. Sabah\u0131m gecem miydi? Gecem sabah m\u0131yd\u0131? Sa\u011fa bakt\u0131m, sola bakt\u0131m\u2026 Dertlerimle ba\u015f ba\u015fa kald\u0131m\u2026 Kah yang\u0131n ald\u0131m. Kah yang\u0131na ate\u015f sald\u0131m. Kah \u201c\u015farab\u201d dedim. Kah \u00e2b\u00e2d istedim. Kah \u201csefa\u201d dedim. Kah \u201cvefa\u201d dedim-bekledim. Kah \u201ccefa\u201d ettim. Kah \u201cc\u00fcda\u201d ettim. Ben neler ettim..! \u201cElest bezmi seneye s\u0131\u011famaz\u201ddedim. Ancak ne demek istedim onu bile bilemedim. Seni bekledi\u011fimi nerede bilecektim ki?<\/p>\n
Me\u011fer\u2026 \u0130l\u00e2h\u00ee kap\u0131n\u0131n merhametine yaslanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fu dakikalarda seni hissetmek istedim\u2026 Bana kendini hissettir ya Rab! Ben her \u015feyde seni arad\u0131m. Her lahza da seni tadd\u0131m. Hak dediklerimde, k\u00fcf\u00fcr addediklerimde seni tadd\u0131m. Ben cefada seni tadd\u0131m. Ben vefada seni tadd\u0131m. Ben bin hizada seni tadd\u0131m. Ben ma\u011faralarda seni tadd\u0131m. Hay\u0131r esta\u011ffirullah\u2026 Ha\u015fa! Yalan\u0131m\u0131 affet! Ben tadmad\u0131m ama ben seni tadmak istedim\u2026 Seni istedim ya Rab! Her kap\u0131y\u0131 sen gelecekmi\u015fsin gibi a\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m\u2026 Ac\u0131larla k\u0131vrand\u0131\u011f\u0131m anlarda, zil beste oynarken seni anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m\u2026 Ama ben anlayamad\u0131m. Seni bekledim. Her inkisar\u0131mda seni bekledim. Her hicran\u0131mda seni \u00f6zledim. Ancak sen anla\u015f\u0131lmaktan m\u00fcnezzehsin. Seni anlayamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015fimdi anlad\u0131m. Senden ba\u015fka cihan\u0131n anlayamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Sen al\u00eemsin ey Ke\u015f\u015f\u00e2f\u00fc\u2019l-Ekber!!! Ey All\u00e2m\u00fc\u2019l-Ekber! Ey Allah\u00fc Ekber! Y\u0131llar\u0131m\u0131 bo\u015funa verdim diye a\u011flam\u0131yorum. Hayalimdeki gelece\u011fi cana getiremedi\u011fim i\u00e7in a\u011fl\u0131yorum. Kah hayalimin kolu kesilir. Kah boynu kesilir. Kah ayaklar\u0131, kah g\u00f6zleri, kah s\u00f6zleri kesilir! D\u00fc\u015fman\u0131n g\u00fcmb\u00fcr g\u00fcmb\u00fcr \u00fczerime geldi\u011fi zaman diliminde ne elimi, ne g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc, ne g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc, ne ayaklar\u0131m\u0131, ne de s\u00f6zlerimi bir araya getirip o gelecekte can gezdiremiyorum. Bir elem seziyorum ki inan bana hepsinden ge\u00e7iyorum\u2026<\/p>\n
O halde \u0130lah\u00ee! Nefesimin yoluna kurban nefsimi al\u0131r m\u0131s\u0131n? Aram\u0131zdaki fark H\u00e2l\u0131k-mahluk fark\u0131! Ben mahl\u00fbkum. Sen H\u00e2l\u0131ks\u0131n. Al nefsimi ama g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc gerilerde b\u0131rakma ey \u015eems\u00fc\u2019l-Ekber Cihan\u0131m! B\u00eeh\u00fbdeyim, ey Hudam! Kime gideyim? Kimden medet bekleyeyim?! Uyand\u0131r beni! A\u015fklar\u0131m diye sayd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 uykuma g\u00f6meyim. Uyand\u0131r beni! A\u015fk\u0131na kadehler kald\u0131rmak istedim \u00e7oktan beri. Uyand\u0131r beni! (\u2026)<\/p>\n
Allah, bug\u00fcn fakir m\u00e2lik\u00e2nemi ziyaret eden o Rah\u00eemi Dost\u2019a fani g\u00f6nl\u00fcmde l\u00e2hud\u00fbd \u00f6m\u00fcrler versin\u2026 “Her seferi” demiyece\u011fim, ancak her seferinden bir kitapla gelir\u2026 Her devrinden bir hitapla gelir\u2026 Her derdinden bir dermanla gelir. \u0130nan bana nas\u0131ld\u0131 geli\u015fi\u2026? Ben O Rahim\u00ee meclislere muhtac\u0131m ey beni takip eden\u2026 Ben o nuran\u00ee gecelere hasretim ey beni kalbimde hapseden\u2026 Himmet et! Kalbimi kalbimden azad et! Bedenimi bedenimden azad et! Ruhumu hapsimden \u00e2b\u00e2d et!<\/p>\n
Her gece feryat k\u0131rdan gelen ecrende olsa kulaklar\u0131m\u0131, g\u00f6zlerimi, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 unutmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m\u2026 Cihan\u0131m\u0131 anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m\u2026 Allah\u2019\u0131m\u0131 anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m\u2026 \u201cAllah\u2019\u0131 anlad\u0131m\u201d diyen k\u00fcfreder! Onu anlayacak ak\u0131l yoktur! Ben g\u00fcl\u00e2m-\u0131 kamerim. Ben ay\u0131n k\u00f6lesiyim. Kamer, benden mi ald\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015fini? Ben mi \u00e7ald\u0131m aydan g\u00fcne\u015fi? Yeter kamer! Yeter ba\u015fka bir \u015feyden bahsetme. Bendim o anda a\u011flayarak diyar diyar gezen\u2026 Bendim s\u0131zlayarak d\u00fb\u00e7ar d\u00fb\u00e7ar inleyen! Bendim g\u00fcrleyerek yazan. Bendim nefes alan, bendim nefes veren. Ancak inan, Hz. A\u015fk benim bu halime ac\u0131mal\u0131yd\u0131 ki o L\u00e2 yez\u00e2l A\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcn harab\u00fc\u2019l-Basra yang\u0131n\u0131na ya\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131. Merhamet etti. Kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 sanki yakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki\u2026 Sanki\u2026 Ama bilemiyorum\u2026 Ben de ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n yalanc\u0131s\u0131y\u0131m\u2026 Ben de ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n talanc\u0131s\u0131y\u0131m! Ben de\u2026<\/p>\n
A\u011flama! Ba\u011f\u0131rma! \u00c7a\u011f\u0131rma! Yanma! Pervaneyi yakma! Seni anlayamazlar\u2026 Seni anlayamazlar. Zira ben kamerin bek\u00e7isiyim\u2026 Zira ben haberin ek\u00e7isiyim\u2026 Zira ben kederin ekmek\u00e7isiyim! Duam\u0131n emek\u00e7isiyim\u2026 Gurbet benim i\u00e7in sadece bir nefestir. Kafesimde de\u011filim ki s\u00fck\u00fbt edeyim. Ana diyar\u0131m\u0131n kafesinde de\u011filim ki b\u00fclb\u00fclan gibi \u015fak\u0131yay\u0131m. Gel g\u00f6r ki g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc susturamad\u0131m. \u201cFeryat nerden?\u201d dedim de uslanmad\u0131m! \u201cNe gelirse, ne g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrse\u201d dedim de ya\u011fd\u0131m, ocak ocak\u2026 O fetih diyar\u0131m\u0131n terkini ya\u015fad\u0131m\u2026 Kimseye s\u00f6z ge\u00e7iremedim. Beste beste gelebilseydim ke\u015fke! Deste deste g\u00fclebilseydim ke\u015fke\u2026 Ama ben vefadan uzak kald\u0131\u011f\u0131ma a\u011flad\u0131m. Sadakate tuzak kurdu\u011fuma a\u011flar\u0131m. \u0130nan bana hem nas\u0131l a\u011flar\u0131m. Dilime \u015fahit olan olsa da g\u00f6nl\u00fcme \u015fahit sensin \u0130lah\u00ee! Oradaki mecusi ate\u015fe Nurunla ya\u011f ya Rab! Merhametine muhtac\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
Ey yar! Karars\u0131z\u0131m! A\u00e7 kap\u0131n\u0131! Ey s\u00e2k\u00ee! Bir kadeh i\u00e7meye geldim! Ey yar! Derdimi anlatmaya geldim\u2026 A\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 almaya geldim! Kap\u0131n a\u00e7! Beni i\u00e7eri buyur etmeye n\u2019olursun bir defa tenezz\u00fcl et\u2026 Ne g\u00f6n\u00fcl k\u0131racakm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Ne g\u00fcnah alacakm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Sadece kadehinden bir \u015farap i\u00e7meye geldim. \u00d6yle bir \u015farap ki \u015farap\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131 yedi yurttan s\u00fcrg\u00fcn eder. \u00d6yle bir \u015farap ki A\u015fk (c.c) ancak orada s\u0131y\u0131r\u0131r perdesini. Sanki anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 bir karars\u0131zl\u0131k an\u0131md\u0131. Kap\u0131n a\u00e7 ki karar\u0131nda ikrar edeyim\u2026 Kap\u0131n a\u00e7 ki k\u00fcfr\u00fcm\u00fc inkara b\u0131rakay\u0131m\u2026 Sana geleyim\u2026 \u0130l\u00e2h\u00ee Sevdam\u0131n, vefam\u0131n, ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, ba\u011fdat\u0131m\u0131n, a\u015fk\u0131m\u0131n, nak\u015f\u0131m\u0131n arz\u0131nda yang\u0131n var\u2026 Kap\u0131n a\u00e7 ki k\u00fcfr\u00fcm\u00fc Hakk\u0131nla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131ray\u0131m\u2026 Ben de anlayay\u0131m\u2026 Ben de seninle olay\u0131m\u2026 Ben de seninle yazay\u0131m\u2026 Ben de seninle okuyay\u0131m\u2026 Ben de seninle duyay\u0131m\u2026 Kap\u0131n a\u00e7 gayri ilah\u00ee\u2026 Selam aleyk.<\/p>\n
Tugay Mola<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bir dervi\u015fin g\u00f6nl\u00fc t\u00fcllenmi\u015fti g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn ar\u015f\u0131na\u2026 Nas\u0131ld\u0131r, nicedir? E\u011fer senin h\u00e2lin Allah\u2019tan uzaksa bana sak\u0131n beni sevdi\u011fini s\u00f6yleme, inanmam. E\u011fer Hak\u2019tan geldiysem, b\u00e2t\u0131ldan ge\u00e7ene inanmam. E\u011fer Hak\u2019tan geldiysen b\u00e2t\u0131la kap\u0131lmam. \u201cSak\u0131n beni sevdi\u011fini s\u00f6yleme!\u201d diye ihtar ederken s\u00f6zlerini kime atfedece\u011fini \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. A\u015fk\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131 m\u0131 vard\u0131r ki a\u015fk\u0131 hapse atm\u0131\u015flar\u2026 A\u015fka kap\u0131 kapatm\u0131\u015flar\u2026 A\u015fk\u0131 dara\u011fac\u0131 nefislere…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145,248,153],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dusunce","category-ocak-24","category-tugaymola","category-145","category-248","category-153","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Picture-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16353"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16353"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16353\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16367,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16353\/revisions\/16367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}