Bu sabah ellerimi g\u00f6\u011fe kald\u0131r\u0131rken g\u00f6zlerimi yere a\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131m. O lahzadaki ish\u00e2b\u0131m\u0131 nas\u0131l s\u00f6yleyecektim ki? Iy\u00e2zen billah neler s\u00f6yledim bilemiyorum. H\u00e2rut sahibi de\u011filim ki B\u00e2bil\u2019deki kuyuda k\u0131yametimi bekleyeyim. Feresim, sidrem ferec bah\u015feder mi? Harab derg\u00e2h\u0131m mi\u2018raca erer mi ki ? S\u00f6zlerimde bed\u00e2het olmasa bile, senin g\u00f6nl\u00fcnde keramet olsun. Ate\u015fg\u00e2h\u0131mdaki s\u00fck\u00fbtu ge\u00e7er mi ki? G\u00f6nl\u00fcmdeki rezalet olsa da, senin g\u00f6zlerinde be\u015faret olsun. Olsun ki bana da rahmet olsun, himmet olsun\u2026<\/p>\n
O tenh\u00e2 gecelerde, tenden uzak yerlerde. Bir a\u011f\u0131t s\u0131z\u0131mlat\u0131l\u0131yordu bilmecelerde. Kaleme kafla. \u00c2leme eleminden elifle gelen bir a\u011f\u0131t ki Nemrut bile a\u011flard\u0131 derdinden. Neden ben? Neden ben aglamayay\u0131m ki? Ben de a\u011flad\u0131m\u2026 O gelen ac\u0131ya zerrelerim dayanamad\u0131. H\u00fccrelerim lerzeye gelirlerken ben nas\u0131l a\u011flamayacakt\u0131m ki? Ac\u0131n\u0131n en ac\u0131s\u0131\u2026 Ama… Hani\u2026 Ama ne tatl\u0131 bir ac\u0131\u2026 Ne kurtulabildim ne de do\u011frusu kurtulmak istedim\u2026 Z\u00eera beni ya\u015fatan ac\u0131lar\u0131m olacak\u2026 Ve \u00f6ld\u00fcrecek olan ne\u015felerim olacak. O h\u00e2lde ya\u015famak istiyorsam, neden ne\u015felerime tenezz\u00fcl edeyim ki? Ben \u00f6lmek istemiyorsam, neden ac\u0131lar\u0131mdan uzak kalay\u0131m ki?<\/p>\n
Ya\u015famak-\u00f6lmek, bizim elimizde de\u011fil. Ancak kainat\u0131n memesinden s\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131z\u0131m damlayan \u015fu umman umman ac\u0131lar\u0131 hissedemeyeceksek yaz\u0131klar olsun bize! O \u0130l\u00e2h\u00ee ac\u0131yla g\u00f6n\u00fcllerde ilelebet kalmay\u0131 hak edemeyeceksek, yaz\u0131klar olsun bize! Bir f\u00e2tih\u00e2 dahi avlayamabacaksak, yaz\u0131klar olsun bize! Bir mescit a\u00e7amayacaksak, bir rahle kuramayacaksak, Bir hutbe okuyamayacaksak, yaz\u0131klar olsun bize! Olmak ve oldurmak (fiil-meful) Allah\u2019\u0131n elinde. O h\u00e2li yakalamay\u0131 dahi isteyemeyeceksek, ger\u00e7ekten ama ger\u00e7ekten yaz\u0131klar olsun bize!
\n…
\n\u0130lelebet Hay olan, sadece ve yaln\u0131zca Allah\u2019t\u0131r! Fen\u00e2fillah kalplerde bek\u00e2y\u0131 ya\u015fatan Allah\u2019t\u0131r\u2026 Araya benden \u00f6nce konu\u015fmaya dalm\u0131\u015f\u0131n s\u00f6zlerinden sonra derim ki: Ke\u015fke ben de g\u00f6n\u00fcllerde olsayd\u0131m\u2026 Kalsayd\u0131m\u2026 Ve Allah\u2019a (cc) kavu\u015fsayd\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n
Ey g\u00f6z\u00fc akl\u0131n\u0131n z\u00e2r\u0131na tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f yolcum! S\u0131y\u0131r at o perdeyi! Kamerin, \u015femsin sahibi Allah\u2019t\u0131r. Ak\u0131l denenin aldatmacalar\u0131 yok mu sand\u0131n? G\u00f6n\u00fcl denenin yan\u0131lmacalar\u0131 yok mu sand\u0131n ? Hakikat de Allah\u2019tan. K\u00fcf\u00fcr de Allah\u2019tan\u2026 Ama ikisinin aras\u0131nda medd-i cezir \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m uzaktan kulaklar\u0131na ili\u015firse\u2026 Kap\u0131 arala ve g\u00f6nl\u00fcnde da\u011fla\u2026 Orada a\u011fla ki senin g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n, merhametin benim k\u00fcfr\u00fcme galebe gelsin\u2026 Ben de o anda senin duanla m\u00eera\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fayay\u0131m..<\/p>\n
Rahman ve Rahim Allaht\u0131r\u2026 Vef\u00e2 da O\u2019na olsun\u2026 R\u0131z\u00e2 da O\u2019na olsun\u2026 Derdimize deva olan Sen\u2026 \u0130l\u00e2h\u00ee! Derdim nefsimden\u2026 Merhamet senden! Beni rahmetinde Rah\u00eem eyle\u2026 Hal\u00eem eyle\u2026 Al\u00eem eyle\u2026 Ne per\u00ee\u015fan yama\u00e7lar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ya Rab\u2026 Diyar\u0131ma \u015eah istedim! Seni istedim\u2026 A\u011flamalar\u0131ma, \u00e7a\u011flamalar\u0131ma sen \u015fahitsin ya Rab! A\u015fk\u0131ma birazc\u0131k deva verseydin ne olurdu ya Rab?! A\u015fk\u0131nla me\u015fk olay\u0131m da vazge\u00e7meyeyim Senden\u2026 Sen benim A\u015fk\u0131m\u2026 Sen benim me\u015fkim ol Ya Rab\u2026 \u0130l\u00e2h\u00ee!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bu sabah ellerimi g\u00f6\u011fe kald\u0131r\u0131rken g\u00f6zlerimi yere a\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131m. O lahzadaki ish\u00e2b\u0131m\u0131 nas\u0131l s\u00f6yleyecektim ki? Iy\u00e2zen billah neler s\u00f6yledim bilemiyorum. H\u00e2rut sahibi de\u011filim ki B\u00e2bil\u2019deki kuyuda k\u0131yametimi bekleyeyim. Feresim, sidrem ferec bah\u015feder mi? Harab derg\u00e2h\u0131m mi\u2018raca erer mi ki ? S\u00f6zlerimde bed\u00e2het olmasa bile, senin g\u00f6nl\u00fcnde keramet olsun. Ate\u015fg\u00e2h\u0131mdaki s\u00fck\u00fbtu ge\u00e7er mi ki? G\u00f6nl\u00fcmdeki rezalet olsa…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[143,204,153],"tags":[206],"class_list":["post-15755","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inanc","category-mart-23","category-tugaymola","tag-mart23","category-143","category-204","category-153","description-off"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/574528_485834658140270_774656379_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15755"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15755"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15755\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15756,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15755\/revisions\/15756"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/korpekalemler.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}